


Anathema Goes Witch-Finding

by dancingismusicmadevisible, luftnarp-writing (secretsofluftnarp)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: F/F, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 20-30 Minutes, Post-Canon, Screenplay/Script Format, implied weed use, queer witches, text included
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingismusicmadevisible/pseuds/dancingismusicmadevisible, https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsofluftnarp/pseuds/luftnarp-writing
Summary: Anathema breaks up with Newt and moves to London to meet witches -- that is, women -- that is, both. Crowley has a mysterious problem.Written by secretsofluftnarp and recorded/audio-produced by dancingismusicmadevisible, for pod_together 2020.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Original Female Character(s), Crowley & Anathema Device, background Aziraphale/Crowley - Relationship
Comments: 17
Kudos: 16
Collections: Pod_Together 2020





	Anathema Goes Witch-Finding

**[Click here to stream, right-click to download audio](http://www.luftnarp.kalindalittle.com/AnathemaGoesWitchfinding.mp3) **

podfic length: 28:38

Cast:  
Anathema – Isaiah  
Yasmin – KT  
Newt/Witch 3 – Teddy  
Crowley/Witch 2 – Ileana  
Aziraphale/Barista – Megan  
Witch 1 – Sol

  
music credits below

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _Journal entry of Anathema Device, about moving to London and the events that happened afterward._

_Winkyface ;)_  
  
_The thing about surviving the end of the world is, you probably haven't spent that much time thinking about what comes next. Especially if you're me, and you had a handy-dandy prophecy roadmap, and all you had to worry about was deciphering it correctly. And then you burn the next roadmap, because it's up to you to figure out what you want to do with your own life. And then you look around and realize, if you could be anywhere you wanted...where you want to be isn't where you currently are._

[Scene: outside Jasmine Cottage. Anathema is hauling her stuff out the front door.]  
  
NEWT: You're actually leaving? 

ANATHEMA: No, Newt, I just packed this antique steamer trunk full of everything I own for fun. Yes, I'm leaving.

NEWT: I'm not sure I understand why?  
  
ANATHEMA: Look, you were right. I didn't want my future to be written before I had the chance to live it. And that means that staying in the last place the prophecy left me...feels wrong.

NEWT: I'm getting the sense this plan doesn't involve me, either. (pause) Oh, because _I'm_ the last place the prophecy left you.

ANATHEMA: (genuinely) I'm sorry. And -- it's not just you. I need to be around other women. I mean witches. Actually, I mean both.  
  
NEWT: What about the part where you grabbed my hand and declared me your boyfriend? (pause) Oh, that's the look where you're trying not to say something really mean. (pause) You might as well.  
  
ANATHEMA: When you've had the idea, since you were a kid, that a specific thing was going to happen --  
  
NEWT: Can't relate, but okay.  
  
ANATHEMA: Sometimes that...romanticized...thing...  
  
NEWT: Eh?  
  
ANATHEMA: ...seems like a much bigger deal than it actually is.

NEWT: Well, I've heard worse. 

ANATHEMA: I called a car to take me to the train.  
  
NEWT: But I've got Dick Turpin --  
  
ANATHEMA: Dick Turpin doesn't have a bike rack.  
  


ANATHEMA'S VOICEOVER: _Finding a flat in London wasn't a problem -- my family was able to make some very smart investments over the years, thanks to Agnes, so money was never an issue. I did still want to do something -- something of my own, something creative. I knew archaic forms of English, I made my own clothes, I knew about, um, land surveying...of course there are ways that city witches can make money just being witches, but I wasn't really looking to give tarot readings. Too much time spent trying to crack open the mysteries of the future meant I wasn't exactly comfortable asking it for advice._

_But my priority was meeting other witches._

_It's funny -- certain professional witch-finders can spend their entire lives in London and not find a single witch. Meanwhile, I spend five minutes walking around town, see a bulletin board at a cafe with a flyer talking about 'Friends of the Lunar Ritual' that spells 'woman' with an 'x' and advertising their Friday night social. Bingo._

[Scene: Cafe interior. This place is larger than anticipated, and the small crowd is chatty.] 

BELEAGUERED BARISTA: (to a confused customer) No, the open mic is on Thursdays. This is the, uh, women's social. Nice guitar though.  
  
BACKGROUND WITCH 1: (to Anathema, flirty) Nice pendulum.

ANATHEMA: (flattered) Thanks, you too. (to herself) Shit! She didn't even have a pendulum. Great start, Anathema. 

(some background witches are chatting with each other)  
  
WITCH 2: And I _told_ her I wasn't sure we were compatible, since she was a Pisces moon, and you know how that went last time...

WITCH 1: You know, everyone knows about Mercury in retrograde, but I just don't think we're paying enough attention to Saturn...  
  
WITCH 3: So I told this customer that palmistry is an art, and I actually need to be there in person to read the associated psychic energy, he can't just send me a snapchat of his hand...  
  


ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _So, it seemed like a lot of people here knew each other already. And yeah, maybe I was a little nervous. But then I noticed someone in the back, by herself, sort of hunched over...with long, wavy red hair, and sunglasses._  
  
ANATHEMA: Nice shawl. (genuinely surprised as she gets closer) Nice _dress_ .  
  
CROWLEY: Thanks, it came in black.  
  
ANATHEMA: You're here all by yourself?  
  
CROWLEY: (evasively) Yeah...  
  
ANATHEMA: Is this a new persona? How should I address you?  
  
CROWLEY: Still Crowley. Just Crowley in a dress.  
  
ANATHEMA: (friendly teasing) So you're becoming a witch? This doesn't really seem like your crowd.  
  
CROWLEY: No, not my crowd. And they aren't Satanists, if you're wondering, though that's not my crowd either if I can help it. And I'm not a witch, I, ah -- witches are -- (gesticulating) ...safe territory. 

ANATHEMA: (curious) For you? 

CROWLEY: I'm trying a new thing where I'm not...(reluctantly) ...purposefully inconveniencing anyone.  
  
ANATHEMA: Oh. Turning over a new leaf?  
  
CROWLEY: Not a caterpillar. Still a snake.  
  
ANATHEMA: (prompting him) A snake who's trying to...  
  
CROWLEY: Not make things deliberately worse for mortals. For a week. As a challenge. Meanwhile, Aziraphale's not allowed to do miracles, so he's decided to spend the week at various London food festivals, which he says are (imitating Aziraphale's voice) 'miraculous enough on their own.'

ANATHEMA: And you wouldn't inconvenience a witch?

CROWLEY: Witches can ward off malintent without hurting anyone, including me. No holy water, no heavenly blessing, no burning or dissolving of demon flesh. Just nice, solid, mortal earth-and-stars magic.

ANATHEMA: (pleased) I like the sound of that.  
  
CROWLEY: Well, on the other hand, I could snap my fingers and set that light fixture on fire; if you got ten of your friends together and wished really hard, you could make sure it had a really nice day.  
  
ANATHEMA: *snorts*

CROWLEY: ...I mean I've met a salt circle or two I didn't enjoy, but that was temporary. But practically every witch here has got apo -- apotr -- aputter --

ANATHEMA: Apotropaic? 

CROWLEY: Yeah. Protection magic. Just a sort of gentle bad-vibes repellent. Still spooky, though, so still nice for me. Won't even give me a hangover unless I try to start something.

ANATHEMA: (brightly) I've got a bread knife.

CROWLEY: I know. 

ANATHEMA: Seems a bit of a blunt instrument, so to speak. Maybe I should come up with something else. 

CROWLEY: (gesturing to the crowd) You could ask any of them for ideas.

ANATHEMA: Oooh, a conversation starter! Thank you! (pause) Um, before I run off -- are you okay? Your aura looks really tense.  
  
CROWLEY: Ah, just a bit of a stiff neck is all. S'nothing.

ANATHEMA: Well, nice to see you!

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _So, I didn't really believe that demons -- even former demons -- could get stiff necks. And something about the way he wasn't moving his usually snakey limbs made me think that more was going on. I was wondering if I should keep an eye on him when -- well. Then I saw_ _her_ _._

_She was beautiful, but it was more than that. She was_ _cool_ _. I mean, I think flowing skirts and traditional witch-wear are cool too -- obviously, I'm pretty invested in them -- but she had close-cropped tightly-curled hair and a jacket with patches that said things like 'Destroy The Patriarchy, Not The Planet'. She had amber-brown skin and a big beautiful smile and an aura that shone like a moonstone, and also I'd been staring at her silently for like five minutes._

YASMIN: (smiling) You're new.

ANATHEMA: I...am. I moved to London last week. From the country, but actually from California...it's a long story.  
  
YASMIN: I'm Yasmin.  
  
ANATHEMA: Oh like the flower. Jasmine. (pause, realizing she should say something.) Anathema. It's an old family name.

YASMIN: Oh interesting! Are you a traditionalist?  
  
ANATHEMA: In a sense. My family was very traditional, but also very...future-thinking, I mean forward-thinking, in their own way. But I'm trying to, um. Expand my horizons! Is that a really dorky way to say it? (awkward pause) What about you?  
  
YASMIN: Oh, I wasn't raised in the Craft at all. I had to find my own way. And I found it in the woods, in the trees...once I figured out what the birds were actually saying, there was no stopping me.  
  
ANATHEMA: Gosh that's amazing. (thinking) Do you have -- pets? Familiars? Um, animal colleagues?  
  
YASMIN: (grinning) All three.  
  
ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _And she tells me about the most wonderful things. The pigeons let her know when it's going to rain. There's a raven who comes by her window once a week, and they exchange tokens of appreciation. Yasmin's not really a cat person, but at home she has mice, and turtles, and all kinds of pets over the years. She's been nudging the local foxes to go bother her annoying neighbors instead. And then she says --  
  
_ YASMIN: Anathema?  
  
ANATHEMA: Yes? _  
_  
YASMIN: I think you should tell me your long story.

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _I knew this was my chance to suggest something cool. Something grounded, and down-to-earth like she was.  
  
_ANATHEMA: Do you want to go look at the moon? 

(Outside. The street is busier than Anathema anticipated.)  
  
ANATHEMA: Gosh, it is harder to see the stars out here than I thought. Guess I've been spoiled being out in the country.  
  
YASMIN: So how'd you end up out there? 

ANATHEMA: Would you believe me if I told you the world almost ended?  
  
YASMIN: I'd believe you if you said the world was ending. But I also have a lot of faith in youth-led environmentalist movements.  
  
ANATHEMA: Oh gosh, me too! I mean, maybe it's not such a coincidence that we have that in common. But it's so important! I'm so proud of today's youth. But this was a different kind of apocalypse. There was a prophecy...you know, I'd rather not dwell on the past right now? 

YASMIN: Do you want to meet the turtles? My flat is around the corner.  
  
ANATHEMA: Yes! I do. So much. 

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _And the inside of Yasmin's flat is -- well, it's busy, a little cramped, but also charming. There's plants and animal-habitats everywhere: a big tank for the turtles, several cages of mice, a sleepy-looking lizard, and empty homes for past and future pets. It's cluttered, but manages not to smell, like that's something she considered when balancing out her little ecosystem. She introduces me to all of them._

YASMIN: This is Tarragon, Rosemary, Lavender, and Marjoram. Turtles, this is Anathema.  
  
ANATHEMA: Pleased to meet you. (looks around) Are those your art supplies? Silly question, this is your place -- 

YASMIN: (cutting her off out of excitement) Let me show you what I've been working on. 

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _So she grabs my hand -- she grabs my hand! -- and pulls me into the bedroom -- yup, bedroom -- and there's this gorgeous canvas that takes up half the wall. It's a painting of the night sky, purple and red tones underneath, and the constellations overlaid in silver and white.  
  
_ ANATHEMA: That is _gorgeous_. 

YASMIN: Thanks! The idea is to have some sigil work embedded in it too, but I haven't really worked it out yet. I had to start over a few times. 

ANATHEMA: My friend was just talking about...'good, mortal, earth-and-stars magic.' And it's lovely.  
  
YASMIN: (cautiously) Mortal as opposed to...  
  
ANATHEMA: Supernatural. Eternal, I guess.

YASMIN: (trying to sound chill and failing) You talk to immortals?  
  
ANATHEMA: Not on purpose. We run into each other sometimes. Sometimes literally. A demon hit me with his car.

YASMIN: (offended on Anathema's behalf) Fuck that!

ANATHEMA: He didn't mean to. Also I was fine! I think he prefers being more like a person than a demon, anyway.  
  
YASMIN: Really? I get so scared of occult forces sometimes, that something so vast and dangerous can exist beyond our comprehension. I think that's what the star-sigil is about, taking something as boundless as the sky, and finding the patterns in it that I can understand. That's part of why I like connecting to the natural world. It feels knowable, full of things you can taste and touch and hold in your hand.  
  
ANATHEMA: That's really sweet.  
  
ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _And I'm holding...her hand._

 _I could have told her that I personally saw Satan emerge from a fissure in the ground at Tadfield Airbase and was basically fine afterwards, but I didn't want her to think that was a regular thing for me. That story could wait until later._ _  
_ _  
_ YASMIN: So, this might be an awkward question, because I feel like you could go either way.  
  
ANATHEMA: Oh?  
  
YASMIN: Do you smoke? 

(cut to; sound of a lighter; the implication that for at least for right now, she does)  
  
ANATHEMA: (cracking up until she's almost crying) So this -- self-appointed town watch _ass_ hole -- (imitating a Proper Gentleman) R.P. Tyler -- told me that if I wanted to 'smoke my fattie spliffies' and 'bimble off to woo-woo land' I could go back to America! (laughing) Fattie spliffies!

YASMIN: Hah! But did you find what you were looking for? 

ANATHEMA: In the short term, yes. In the long term, noooooo.

YASMIN: You're really gorgeous, you know that?  
  
ANATHEMA: No, you are.

YASMIN: Can I kiss you?  
  
ANATHEMA: Yes! Hang on, let me put my glasses somewhere.  
  
ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _And it's wonderful -- and she's wonderful. I felt my whole physical self being drawn into a moment where I could just be, not thinking about before, or after. And she starts touching me, and finds a button, and I really did want to -- ok, I was a little bit high, sure, but I definitely wanted to -- sex with the woman with the moonstone aura? Can you imagine? Of course I want that!_

_But there was still this voice in the back of my head that wondered if this was somehow predestined. Maybe I thought it felt too perfect. Maybe it bothered me that I couldn't know._

YASMIN: (gently) What is it?  
_  
_ ANATHEMA: I'm sorry. I really like you. I just need to make sure this isn't something that Agnes put me up to.  
  
YASMIN: (mildly confused) Agnes...like your ex?  
  
ANATHEMA: (sighing) No, Agnes like my very dead great-great-great-great-great-great aunt who has been meddling in everything I've ever done, and everything my family has ever done since the 17th century. I'm sorry. I maybe -- need a little more time, to figure that out.

YASMIN: (earnestly) So I don't really get it, but that's okay. And I really like you too. (implied arm-touching or hair-stroking or just comfortingly) Hey. Do you want to just go to sleep?  
  
ANATHEMA: That sounds nice. 

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _So we went to sleep, under the star sigil painting, the plan for how to chase away the things we're afraid of still incomplete._

_And we kept hanging out! Doing what a witch who's new in town and a witch who's not do, check out the local haunts, tea shops and herbalists, craft markets, the new-age bookstores._

_Which is how we ended up in the combination bookstore and crystal shop, and I ended up running into an old acquaintance._

ANATHEMA: Crowley?  
  
CROWLEY: Oh, hi book girl. Checking out the books?  
  
ANATHEMA: Are you stuck?  
  
CROWLEY: Nah, you know me, I always sit like this. Horizontally. Next to the chair.  
  
ANATHEMA: (walking away) I'll be right back.  
  
YASMIN: (approaching) Hey, check out what I found in the metaphysical section --  
  
ANATHEMA: One minute. My friend needs help. (to the bookseller, determined) Can I use your phone?  
  
YASMIN: (whispering) But you have a phone.  
  
ANATHEMA: (flipping through the rolodex in the bookshop's back room) Right, but _he_ has an ancient rolodex with the number of every bookshop in the area. (dials a number) Hi, Aziraphale? It's Anathema. Lovely, you? Look, I found your man, and he needs help. We're at the crystal shop near St. George's. Bless you too.

ANATHEMA: (walking swiftly back toward Crowley) So I called Aziraphale, he'll be right over.  
  
CROWLEY: What'd you bloody do that for?  
  
ANATHEMA: Because he'd want to know that you're in trouble. And I think this is something bigger than I can help with. 

CROWLEY: Why d'you think I'm here and not there? Witches! Safe territory! Angels? Not!  
  
ANATHEMA: (amused) Did you have a falling out? 

CROWLEY: No, and that's private, but no. I just I think the crushing weight of my sins has finally come for me -- my bleedin' eyes are blue, for crap's sake, which is weirdly heavenly -- and the Angel's going to try to help, and he's going to make it _worse_. 

YASMIN: (approaching) Hey, Anathema, you disappeared -- oh shit you didn't tell me it was him.  
  
ANATHEMA: (bewildered) What? 

CROWLEY: Oi, I remember you. Daughters of Baphomet, or something. Real pity about the cat.  
  
ANATHEMA: What did he say?  
  
YASMIN: (stricken) That was a long time ago. I'm so sorry.  
  
CROWLEY: Mortals've got no idea what a long time is. 

YASMIN: But listen. I know how to help now.  
  
CROWLEY: Pretty sure your lot tried to kill me.  
  
YASMIN: It was so long ago -- I was so young! All of a sudden we had infinite access to occult power and no idea what we were doing. We only ever looked up to you.

ANATHEMA: This just got really fucking weird.

(enter AZIRAPHALE)  
  
AZIRAPHALE: Funny thing for a witch to say. Hello, dear girl! Hello Crowley. Why are you lying down?

CROWLEY: Aziraphale! Just, uh, getting comfortable. (to Anathema) How'd you manage to get ahold of him, anyway?  
  
ANATHEMA: (dryly) I wished really hard.  
  
AZIRAPHALE: Crowley, you don't look well. Let me help you up --

CROWLEY: I'd rather you not come closer. 

AZIRAPHALE: Oh -- oh something's happened. Let me --  
  
CROWLEY: No miracles. I think that might make it worse. 

YASMIN: All you need to do is --

AZIRAPHALE: (near-hysterical) No, I've done this. I've hurt him by being too much of a heavenly influence! Oh, Crowley, what are we going to _do_ \--

YASMIN: Guys! He's a fucking snake.  
  
AZIRAPHALE: Rude.  
  
CROWLEY: No, she knows that. Big, embarrassing late-90s satanic ritual. I transformed.  
  
YASMIN: And when was the last time you molted?

CROWLEY: Oh. Good bloody question.  
  
AZIRAPHALE: But he's not physically a snake. I mean, not at the moment.

YASMIN: Metaphysically, he's always snaking somewhere.  
  
CROWLEY: Right on.  
  
YASMIN: So all you need is --  
  
CROWLEY: No rituals! Not after last time.  
  
YASMIN: It's not a ritual! Listen, I know animals, and reptiles especially. All you need is like -- a big flat rock. Or a whole bunch of towels.

AZIRAPHALE: Sounds like the table in your flat. 

ANATHEMA: Is your car nearby?  
  
CROWLEY: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't think I'm fit to drive.  
  
AZIRAPHALE: Oh, my. He hasn't said that since cars were invented.  
  
ANATHEMA (to Yasmin): Neither of us knows how to drive, do we.  
  
YASMIN: Oh, yeah. No. 

CROWLEY: (taking a deep breath). All right. Aziraphale, Anathema, carry me back to the car. Aziraphale, drive us back to my flat.

AZIRAPHALE: (lighting up) Really!

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _So as I get down to help pick him up, Crowley just hisses --_

CROWLEY: Do not, under any circumstances, suggest that the Angel doesn't know how to drive. Just play along and it'll work.

  
  
ANATHEMA'S INTERIOR MONOLOGUE: _So we put Crowley across the backseat. Aziraphale doesn't use the keys, he just puts both hands on the bonnet of the car -- yeah, I've been living in England, I say 'bonnet' now -- and it just hums to life --_  
  
AZIRAPHALE: There you are, my dear fellow. 

ANATHEMA'S INTERIOR MONOLOGUE: _And I know the Bentley only plays Queen songs, but well, not with Aziraphale driving._

(The Bentley plays the chorus of 'All You Need Is Love' as the conversation continues) 

CROWLEY: Careful with my feet, you.  
  
YASMIN: I am sitting still, and I am trying to help. (to Anathema) He hit you with his car?  
  
CROWLEY: She hit me! Crosswise. With a bicycle. 

AZIRAPHALE: (disguising worry) Everything all right back there?  
  
CROWLEY: (mocking) Positively tip-top.  
  
AZIRAPHALE: Good to hear! (pause) Are you poking fun?  
  
YASMIN: (as something speeds by) Eep --  
  
ANATHEMA: (through teeth) Don't tell him to keep his eyes on the road.  
  
AZIRAPHALE: What's that?  
  
ANATHEMA: (aloud) Lovely day for a drive!  
  
AZIRAPHALE: (facing the right way again) Indeed it is. (stopping) Thank you for taking us to our destination, dear car. (to Crowley) Do we need to haul you into the lift?  
  
CROWLEY: *grunts*

  
  
ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _So we do haul him into the lift, ridiculously, and then Yasmin sets them up, they end up covering the table with the towels -- don't know who has black towels, seems counterproductive -- so Crowley can do the human-sized equivalent of rubbing his nose on a rock. But to do that Crowley needs to undress, so Aziraphale very abruptly -- and protectively, I guess -- shoos us out of the room._

_So we're stuck in a demon's living room, and we need to talk._

ANATHEMA: Ugh, have you ever seen such negative energy baggage? It's like metaphysical cobwebs, everywhere.

YASMIN: Do you know how to clean it? That kind of thing is not my strong suit.  
  
ANATHEMA: Pretty much, but I don't have the tools on me. And you can see spots where it's been knocked away, too. It's actually getting clearer. But it's still more than I've ever dealt with, personally. Which isn't surprising, since --  
  
YASMIN: A literal demon lives here.  
  
ANATHEMA: Yeah. (settling on the uncomfortable couch) Yasmin, what happened?  
  
YASMIN: When I was young -- like, shitty-teen-edgelord young -- I had figured out that my family's religion wasn't going to let me be me, so I thought I had to go the full opposite. And lots of kids just listen to death metal and carve the number of the beast into their school-desks and call it a day, right? But I fell in with actual occultists, who were planning an actual demon-summoning, and I just played along. I had no idea what it would be like, so I figured I could handle it. I was edgy and cool, right?

Turns out that summoning a demon in some middle-aged goth's garage isn't cool at all! It's weird and disturbing! And the worst part was, there was an animal sacrifice, and I helped. It haunted me. That's why I am who I am now -- I've been trying to make it up to them ever since.

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _And I just kind of sat there and didn't respond -- which I know was the wrong thing to do -- but I had to take it in. Plus, I'm Anathema! I didn't_ _have_ _any youthful indiscretions! Even my stupid lame boyfriend with no life didn't pull any surprises._  
  
YASMIN: Anathema?

ANATHEMA: Sorry, sorry, this place is giving me a headache.

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _And then Aziraphale tiptoes in from the next room, carrying an enormous piece of snakeskin._  
  
AZIRAPHALE: I'll just leave that here for now.  
  
YASMIN: You know, that's a symbol of rebirth, in some traditions. 

CROWLEY: (shouting from the next room) It's my bleeding skin, you Satanic creeper!

YASMIN: (shouting back) Hey! That's _former_ Satanic creeper, thank you very much!  
  
ANATHEMA: I'm glad you made it onto your forest-witch path, and I'm sorry you had that experience. Is that the right thing to say?  
  
YASMIN: Works for now I guess.  
  
ANATHEMA: I guess I'm still afraid of things I can't anticipate.  
  
YASMIN: So's everybody.  
  
ANATHEMA: Huh. Good point.

(suspiciously sexual sounds are coming from the other room)

ANATHEMA: I think we might have to sneak out. Lest we...interrupt something.

YASMIN: They really are -- ? On the table?  
  
ANATHEMA: I would not put it past them.  
  
(They help each other out of the building)  
  
YASMIN: That little snake-ass bitch. Acts like people can't change, when he's fucking an angel!  
  
ANATHEMA: Well, time makes snake-ass bitches of us all.  
  
(Yasmin laughs, and Anathema laughs, and they're laughing until they're crying and they don't know why.)

ANATHEMA: I don't even know what it means! (catching her breath) That's the hardest part, right, not really knowing what anything means.  
  
YASMIN: It means you get to decide. (pause) Do you still want to come back with me tonight? We can re-paint the sigil together.  
  
ANATHEMA: (warmly) Yeah. Yeah, I do.

ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _So, you know, I've learned some things! Like maybe I didn't want to leap directly into a relationship right after moving to a new city after deciding that I didn't have enough say in my last relationship. Maybe I needed to make smaller decisions first, like making the kind of friends who will support you in opening up your own Etsy shop for custom handmade clothing, or adopting a cat. By the way, is_ _Themyscira a good name for a cat?_

YASMIN: (shouting from the next room) Hey, are you done writing yet? Me and Evelyn and Hazel were going to start the movie.  
  
ANATHEMA VOICEOVER: _PS, I might legit have a coven now. A coven-by-choice! Isn't that amazing?_ _  
_  
YASMIN: Anathema!  
  
ANATHEMA: Coming!

THE END

Music credits:

Various tracks by [@royaltyfreebackgroundmusic](https://soundcloud.com/royaltyfreebackgroundmusic) on SoundCloud

"[SOLO ACOUSTIC GUITAR](https://soundcloud.com/user-231592479/jason-shaw-solo-acoustic-guitar)" by Jason Shaw

"[Season of the Witch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kREb2aw1o9I)" by Lana Del Rey (instrumental)

"[All You Need Is Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7xMfIp-irg)" by The Beatles

"[Romantic Folk Loop](https://soundcloud.com/twisterium/romantic-folk-loop-free-instrumental-background-music-creative-commons)" by Twisterium

"[Summercycle](https://soundcloud.com/ayneohnradley/summercycle-original-indie-style-instrumental-creative-commons)" by Wayne John Bradley

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading/listening! Thank you to lalalalalawhy for the writing-beta :)


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